It’s not that blogging hasn’t crossed my mind, it has.
Looking back at these past few months, I’ve realized that I have consistently updated my Instagram (http://instagram.com/brynacaroline/) , have posted status updates on Facebook, and have left my blog practically untouched. My journal pages have been soaked in pen ink, yet as far as sharing these thoughts and reflections…I’ve pretty much shied away from anything public.
A few reasons for this. A lot of personal growth, listening, understanding and dissecting has been happening. Most of these are deep, personal things that don’t quite have a place in a blog…yet. I understand that I could have just posted a few things about funny experiences, or a few favorite memories, but I wouldn’t be telling the whole story. A huge piece that makes the heart of the story would be missing- leaving it, in my mind, hollow, almost untrue.
With that being said, more stories will come through. Just not in the chronological order in which they happened. With time, I’ll share more.
TODAY however I found myself reflecting on something I had written the day before. When I was flying to India from Sri Lanka, I asked myself if this was truly the right time for my yoga teacher training. Inside of myself I knew it was time to take the next step- deepen my practice and move forward. Yet, was it the right time? Months (or well, years actually) of midnight trains, bartered fares, unknown roads and new faces have been the adrenaline that causes my heart to flutter. So much so, that I would often forget the underlying pressure, stress and exhaustion that was hiding under its surface. I could only see the good.
I feel it now.
I feel tired.
But at the same time, my heart, my soul…wants to continue this flow.
I had to ask myself- is this really what is best for you now? Or is it just what you want? Being real with myself and being aware of where I was at, and not where I wanted to be at.
So, I wandered off to the cliffs this afternoon, treated myself to a scoop of ice cream and saturated. I smelled the ocean breeze as it crashed in on the waves. I felt the intensity of the sun as it warmed the back of my head. I watched the butterflies dance around the flowers. And I became present.
Then it became clear and clearer with each breath I took in and let out.
You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
oh. and did I mention I also ate some delicious ice cream while meditating on these thoughts?